From Eye Rolls to Real Conversations
Recap of CAFO Breakout from William & CarrieAnn Standfest, Connected Parenting Minute
Connecting with teens starts with the RIGHT MINDSET.
SHIFT YOUR MINDSET
Redefining teenagers by SHIFTING perspective.
Negative Stereotypes:
Teens are always on their phones.
SHIFT: “Everyone is born looking for someone who is looking for them.” (Curt Thompson The Soul of Shame)
TIPS: Text to connect; set boundaries outside the moment.
Teens are rebellious.
SHIFT: Teens are practicing independence.
TIPS: Let them make mistakes; give them a FREE pass.
Teens are disrespectful.
SHIFT: Teens are trying to fit into an adult world.
TIPS: Stay calm and disengage; keep it playful.
Teens don’t want to connect with parents/adults.
SHIFT: Teens want to be known for who they are becoming, not who they’ve been.
TIPS: “Be curious, not judgmental.” (Walt Whitman/Ted Lasso); find unique ways to connect.
SCRIPTING YOUR RESPONSE
When we have a PRACTICED RESPONSE to common situations, we can respond with CALMNESS and CONNECTION rather than REGRET.
Examples:
Hey, buddy. I need a moment. But we’re going to come back to discuss this.
The way you said that really hurt my feelings.
We set a boundary. Let’s be a man of your word.
I’m sorry for ____. Let’s talk about what I can own and what you can own.
It’s dinner time. Remember no phones. I want to connect with you, too.
You may think that, but I see you are talented and gifted.
You are beautiful. You are made for purpose.
REDEFINE SUCCESS
. . . people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou
Connecting with teens starts with the right mindset . . . and grows when success is defined by CONNECTION and not PERFECTION.